Laundry – Five Minute Friday

It’s Five Minute Friday again! ūüôā Today’s prompt: Laundry. Learn more about Five Minute Friday here Five Minute Friday

Laundry.
Ugh.

I like to start laundry, get it in the washer. I feel accomplished.

And then I end up starting something else. Or Noah wakes up. Or I’m just too plain tired to get up and put it in the dryer.

Then I’m left with more washing, and sometimes more forgetting. It’s a vicious cycle.

Isn’t this what I kind of do in life too though? I put it off until there is way too much and it’s overwhelming. Then I start a project, make a plan, even buy supplies.

And that’s where it happens I start to feel accomplished but I haven’t really done anything and then something else comes up. Life gets in the way of my well made plans. Days later I’m defeated and twice as overwhelmed and the laundry still isn’t done either.

Gosh who knew laundry could have such a life metaphor?

I better go put a load in……an set a couple timers so I don’t forget. ūüėČ

-Jess

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Who do you think you are?

 
TLC's who-do-you-think-you-are

 

I rarely watch TV. Unless of course you count making sure we watch the newest episode of Sofia the First because I LOVE that show¬†but other than that I don’t want too much TV.(Can you tell there is a toddler in the house?) ¬†So when I’m left to my own devices with sleeping children and hubby is working late I’m not sure what to do with myself. Yeah I could do some sort of project but really by 10pm on a Friday night I’d rather watch Say Yes to the Dress.

Just recently I started watching this show on TLC called Who Do You Think You Are? I taped a number of episodes mainly because I knew who the stars were and the first one I saw was the¬†episode about one of my favorite actresses Zooey Deschanel. I was hooked. Since then I have the show set to tape and I’m trying to find a while hour to myself to watch it without being too tired to fall asleep 10 minutes in of course.

The whole concept of the show is that they research a certain family member of a star and they dig deep into records and they find a story they answer questions and give insight.

I think what has grabbed me about the show is that everyone I’ve watched so far has found a compelling story. Zooey’s family was heroes of their time. She found out that the same strength and will and perseverance that she has was also present in her blood line years ago. Same goes for the other episodes I’ve watched.

Watching all of this makes me want to research my own history and it also scares me to inaction too. I look back at my family and wonder if I come from a ¬†long line of people who just let life happen to them? What if my family never did anything “great”? What if what’s in my blood isn’t the characteristics I want how do I change that?

But I really don’t know – that’s just the depression talking – it’s surmising and wondering and speculating without an ounce of truth behind it. I have to remember that.

Who knows what I’ll find as I step out on this journey. God will lead me to what he wants me to see and there is a stirring in my heart to want more to know more about where I came from. Maybe I’m looking for motivation or proof that I really have what it takes to do what I need to do. Maybe I’m looking for affirmation that I am brave and resilient and hard working – see it’s in my blood!

The thing is that I already am all those things I just need to start believing them.

-Jess

 

A New Era

Today is the start of a new era for the Wrench family. 

After an unexpected move a month of no luck finding a decent apartment that was both big enough for our brood and didn’t smell (seriously) and more twists to 2013 than I could have ever imagined we have moved in with family.¬†

Pros – there is always someone around to help with Noah & I get to spend more quality time with my in-laws (yes you read that right ūüėČ )

Cons Рthere is only one bathroom (nuff said) 

We spent ten hours yesterday moving all of our belongings to a storage facility. Well 90% of our belongings. THe other 5% ended up in Gram’s basement because we didn’t have enough room in storage and the other 5% is on the side of the road. WHy on the side of the road you ask?¬†

Water damage. Leaky Basement. Years of my life gone. 

DId that sounds frustrated? I am. After almost 3 years of living there I knew that the basement was wet. I tried a number of times to get down there and sort things out. At the end of it all a lot of my stuff was ruined. 

I spent a good hour finally going through the basement and dealing with the loss of what once was. I came to a point where I just had to grieve for a moment. I realize that the past fe years have been tough and I’ve started to realize that I’ve put myself on a back burner and I’ve “forgotten” who I am. And seeing all that stuff moldy and wet I was grieved to see what I’ve done to myself. I’ve put things that once were important to me aside and basically didn’t think about it and forgot about that. And it all got ruined.

Some things were miraculously able to be saved but the majority was gone. 

I Realize that had I never actually looked in the basement I might not have known about what was there. I also realize that others have suffered even largest loss by much bigger things out of their own control. But at the end of the day I realized some things about myself yesterday:

– Seeing the piles and piles of junk on the side of the road I realized I have gotten SO far away from the type of life I want to live.

– I have a long road ahead to get back to “who I am” but it’s a battle I’m ready and willing to take on.

– My family is pretty awesome – they are always right there when I need something – am I like that for them and if not how do I get there?

 

I know losing some memorabilia is not a big thing in the grand scheme of things – I really do. But it was a big moment for me yesterday. One I hope I don’t soon forget.

 

РJess 

Expectations, Schmexpectations

Some days I just need some encouragement. Not that I set out looking for it, but I usually end up finding it when I need it the most. 

While talking about work catching up on life with my friend, I shared with her that I noticed that for the past few weeks I’ve been really short with my kids. A trait that happens from time to time – like many parents I’m sure – but I really wasn’t sure where this has been coming from.

So while talking through this, I tell her about how I’ve been giving myself a pep talk. “This weekend I’m going to be the best mom and I’m not going to yell and I’ll teach them things and do fun things together”. ¬†In talking to her I realized that I was actually just heaping expectation after expectation on myself…and then the weekend would come and that didn’t happen I was getting upset at myself and that was coming out on the kids. No good right?

My friend said to me “Jess, you ARE a good mom. You ARE doing a great job. And you need to get this “I will be” out of your vocabulary because you ARE a good mom”.¬†

Gosh, my heart smiles just thinking about how this simple word of encouragement impacted me in such a huge way. 

She reminded me that I AM doing a good job and it helped me and really allowed me to take some pressure off of myself. ¬†That I don’t have to be perfect to be loving. That I may get frustrated but that’s where grace and humility come in and sweep me up in their arms.¬†

We had an amazing weekend, and I realized that the more that I Iet go of my expectations and the more I focused on love, the better the whole thing is. I felt better, my family was happier and we made memories this weekend. Such great, great memories. All because of her simple words. 

I want to encourage you today to speak those words, spread hope, give love. And if you are the one who needs the encouragement, don’t doubt what they say. Don’t doubt what that friend in your life is telling you. Hold on to that encouragement and tuck it in your heart. It will lift you up when you need it most.¬†

– Jess ūüôā

 

The Thing I Forget Most Often

One of the things I learned early on is that when Mama is ready to go, the whole house moves faster. When I attend to myself first (and I’m talking hair, makeup, clean clothes) it’s SO much easier to get the rest of the house done with the same.

However, in other areas of my life I’m not so disciplined with putting myself first. I tend to work out everyone else’s schedule before my own, get everyone else’s laundry done, drive the family where they need to go, feed everyone first, and the list goes on. Please don’t read this as a “poor me” post. I like to do these things, I like that I’m on top of most things and I can get it done.

No, the thing that I forget most often in all of this is to take care of myself.

After many years I’ve realized that I need time to refuel myself too. When I don’t do this, I become bitter and resentful and generally not happy and all of that feeds into my depression. I’m not sure why taking care of myself is so low on the priority list for me, but it is. And while I don’t want to go to the other extreme and be demanding or high¬†maintenance, I do want to develop a habit of taking care of myself.

For me, recharging could be reading a book, taking a shower, organizing the closet or even watching the new “Good Luck Charlie” episode. (Yes, I love that show!) I need to remember that recharging doesn’t have to be an all day thing, that it could be a few minutes here or something penciled in there.

Most of the time finding what it is that I need to recharge isn’t the issue, the real issue is letting myself take that time. The issue is reminding myself that I deserve the time to myself too. So often I think I get caught up in what I think I should be doing and thoughts like “how could I read my book when there are rooms to clean” that I don’t let myself take the time I need.

So yesterday morning I thought it would be nice to take a run. Not that I often run, but after a weekend of Bacon Caramel Truffles I think my body was craving some movement. It felt SO good. Not just to exercise, to breathe fresh air, and to be alone, but to see something I needed and go after it. That was the best recharge I could have given myself.

– Jess