As I was about to post my latest Facebook/Twitter update on my 30 in 30 for my 30th journey I had a thought. I may be posting only one thing per day but really in real life this is a lifestyle change or rather more of a lifestyle focus. Each day’s task isn’t a One and Done type thing. I’m trying to live a more conscious lifestyle and it starts with me. So I thought I should clarify. While I’m posting one thing per day, I’m really doing much more. Like my counselor Rachel told me when I told her about this, she said, “I bet you do more for others than you realize”. She’s right, I do, but I’m happy to do more and to have my eyes more and more opened to the needs around me. What this project is teaching me is that I do more for others each day than I even realize and that I also shy away from opportunities because I’m scared. But it’s also teaching me to take action to get over that fear.
Today’s task was to pay for the order of the car behind me in line in the drive thru. Now I’ve done this many a time and I love it. Usually I’m at Tim Horton’s or Dunkin Donuts where the typical breakfast order is a coffee or two and I know an extra $5 won’t break the bank. Today I was at McDonalds and I was a little scared. Why? I had visions of getting the person behind me who ordered 15 Egg McMuffin meals and had like a $20plus order.
Should this matter? No not at all – in fact I should be trusting that if I’m feeling led to pay for the order behind me then God will provide a way for me to do just that regardless of how much I spend. But I got cold feet. I freaked. And then I felt silly. Silly that I didn’t trust. Silly that after I just heard an amazing message about God knowing what we need before we even ask for it and yet I freaked. Why would I quantify the nice thing I’m trying to do anyways? Again if that’s what I’m feeling led to do then it’s for a reason that I don’t know.
I also felt silly because……the order came to $1.08. The person behind me bought a Coke. I freaked for nothing – as I so often do.
And as I heard that I felt the Holy Spirit saying see, just trust me. I’ve got your back. I know what you need before you even ask.
Learning my lessons slowly this week but learning them nonetheless.
Excited for tomorrow – and the rest of the day – to see what God has in store for me next.
Here’s the current list of things I’ve done:
Today I surprised my parents with a visit from me and baby Noah for their anniversary. It’s been a couple weeks since they’ve seen him due to vacation and such and I may have made it seem like they wouldn’t see him for a while b/c of busy schedules, which would have been the case had I not surprised them. They were over the moon excited for the visit.
Today I purchased the order of the person behind me in the drive thru. And I save my neighbors kid’s sunglasses from certain destruction as they must have fallen out of the car into the street and were lying there. So I picked them up and put them on the front porch. Small things people, small things. 🙂